Therese Marie

It’s an equally empowering and daunting feeling to be able to see all the mountains you’ll be climbing within the week.

Normally you’re just referencing the book, which has a terrain profile, and at the mercy of the trees. But in New Hampshire, it’s steep. There are tons of views. The mountains are tall. There’s ridgeline for miles.

So when we stood atop Smarts Mountain, and I was huffing and puffing and my calves feel like they’re on fire, we climbed up the fire tower and saw this:

That big, blue mountain?

That’s Moosilauke.

A four-thousand footer. It took us one more day to get there.

Like I admitted before, I really didn’t know what I was getting into in The Whites. I’ve never been here before, I’ve never done any hiking in this area. All I have is the information people are telling me, and it wasn’t sounding good.

The night before, me and my friends slept at a shelter. It’s easy for me to get in my head about things (like being worried I wouldn’t wake up in time, and countless other anxieties…), so I couldn’t sleep very well. In the middle of the night, the moon shone through the trees and illuminated the shelter and site with amazing brilliance. There’s so much I was thinking, but it’s difficult to touch now.

Anyway, we woke up early in preparation for the climb.

When the trail reaches the base of the mountain, you get a glimpse of the entirety. It towers menacingly above you, consuming the skyline. You’re stuck with the thought I am going to be climbing up hill for 4 miles. And you have no choice but to go forward.

Spoiler alert: it’s not that bad.

We made it up in 2 hours or less!? And that’s what’s been so interesting about these past couple days: the future looks really difficult and daunting, but it ends up being triumphant and fun. 

Every single person I hiked with to the top of Moosilauke had an epic smile on their face this morning. We hiked a big mountain. And it was a beautiful god damned day. In fact, some how, despite all our previous anxieties about weather and terrain, everything turned out to be perfect.

So now I firmly believe that it’s silly to sweat the future. There’s just too many factors that you can’t be certain of. Plus, I feel so much more confident and determined. I am going to finish hiking this section of the trail no matter what gets thrown at me. I am going to make it happen. There is nothing that can stop me.

As of today, I feel a new calm floating over me.

Am I still nervous about the Whites? Sure. We got a full blown view of what we’re going to climb this week. 

But I’m not too worried. Because I’m going to DO it. It’s going to happen.

Well, to be honest, it’s 9:40pm and I feel like I’m about to pass out. I can’t believe I stayed up this long to begin with.

Until then, fly on!

Lil