Therese Marie

The following is an excerpt straight from my journal as Shaaades and I, two run weary North Bounders, trudge through the final Hundred Mile section of the Appalachian Trail before the northern terminus: Mount Katahdin. Follow our hilarious and emotional 6-day trek as we come to grips that our six month journey is finally coming to a close. 

Night Six, September 10th, 6:15pm

PRAISE AND THANK YOU TO STEELY, BECAUSE NOW ME AND SHAAADES ARE GOING TO LIVE.

I am rejuvenated I am alive this has been a beautiful fall day! I was sitting at a shelter earlier talking to my new temporary friend, Steely.  Turns out he’s actually a beast and hiking faster than he planned. He’s going to summit Katahdin tomorrow so he gave me and Shaaades his extra food which means we are not going to die of hunger I am going to CRUSH MILES and survive this trail!

Steely and I laughed about how we’d never see each other again. We had this moment in the shelter together to talk about life and plans and how we’ve grown and…that’s it! That’s all we get out here, and that’s all we need.

This afternoon I sat on a ledge looking at Katahdin as Shaaades listened to the Bears game.

Mama K is getting closer and closer. It breaks my heart that the photos show her looking so small. There is a wonder, a deep feeling in my chest every time we get a view of the mountain. At this point it’s completely impossible to communicate. I mean, hell, even Shaaades and I are ignoring it. We don’t talk about it much at all.

Actually this morning, we did have a moment. We both shared songs that make us feel emotional and blah blah blah. I shared mine, and he responded with “Damn it. You ALMOST got me to cry.” And then he played his, which started a waterfall of emotion and jokes.

After it played, we sort of sat in a bit of silence for a little while. “…I just saw my entire hike flash before my eyes,” I muttered. “GOD DAMN IT.” And with that I became an emotional wreck inside.

It felt so strange knowing that this was the second to last morning that I’ll wake up in my tent.

And then that’s it.

So today was another day down.

Right now I’m listening to “Sunday Candy” as the sun sets on Rainbow Lake.

I realized I never feel like I’m giving you enough because I want every moment written down. Every second recorded. I don’t want to forget a single god damned thing about being out here.

Like seeing Coach eating Ramen on a rock, coming up and sitting next to him, and him simply saying, “I’m taking my TIME.” I nodded in agreement. The rock wasn’t incredibly comfortable to sit on. We were in the middle of the woods.

And I got up to keep moving. And I hiked on through the quiet pine.

Or all the times in the Whites,  like that moment at Ethan pond where Aussie and I chatted idly as the stars came out. We saw the Perseids that night.

This book I’m writing in is so heavy with memories. 

I miss my friends. I miss the trail and I’m still on it.

And the quiet lake is in front of me.

And my quiet heart rests.

That moment of summiting Katahdin? That moment that I had talked about with Walkamole and Garbanzo and Jukebox back in Georgia and North Carolina? It’s going to be here in a few days. I’ve been thinking about it for so long. And now it’s here.

Shaaades put it pretty well:

“I can’t believe we’re there. Every day I don’t believe it more. I didn’t know I couldn’t believe something this much.”

I remember all those nights I spent in Richmond drinking and complaining, thoroughly convinced that I would never make it. I felt like my life was over. I felt like the biggest failure in the world.

And now look where I am.

Miles from Katahdin, officially 2 months out in the woods with no breaks. I have completed all my personal goals and now I’m surpassing them without a second thought.

Finally.

For the first time in my life, I’m finally living it the way I’ve dreamed and more. 

The stars are beautiful tonight.

Sleep tight, fly on. 

x Lil Wayne.